Sunday, June 16, 2019

Fathers Day

Fathers Day is usually pretty uncomfortable for me.

My birth father was a terrible person, and I have a difficult relationship with my stepfather, who is also not an award-winner. It could definitely be a lot worse, but I don't have great "thanks so much, I love you dad!" type feelings.My boyfriend has a son, but he lives with his mother out of state these days, and we only really had him on weekends before they moved several years ago. They have a great bond, but it's not the traditional family situation there, either. We have pets: 4 cats, 2 ferrets, 1 dog. My bf has also started feeding some of the local stray cats, so I guess we can kind of include them, too, since he's given them names.

To make a long story short (too late!), If you're a good father, I hope your loved ones appreciate and celebrate you today. If, like us, you kind of have a weird thing going on, I see you, and send you warm thoughts and well wishings that you get through today as pleasantly as possible. Pet your dog for me.

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Why I'm Not a Cop, But Maybe YOU Should Be

I used to want to be a cop.

When I was 18, I got a job as a security guard. I guarded warehouses, restaurant and event parking lots, apartment complexes, a head shop, raves, backstage at concerts and some giant bunny sculptures (everyone wants to sit on the damn rabbits). I've done pat downs and ID checks, dealt with drunks on New Year's Eve, kept reporters away from professional football teams and through it all, worked closely with the local police department. I went on ride-a longs, I talked to bike cops, horse cops, beat walkers, off duty cops working events.

See, as a kid, I'd grown up on mysteries. I watched Scooby-Doo and Inspector Gadget. I gorged my brain on Sherlock Holmes, The Cat Who books, The Hardy Boys and Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators. I was also really into ghost-stories, but when you think about it, those are just magical murder mysteries, aren't they? I wanted to solve mysteries and find stolen belongings and catch criminals and help people. I had really wanted to be a private detective, but after a lot of research, I discovered that real-life detectives don't do much more than report on cheating spouses and there's really not enough money in it. It's also kinda dangerous, and Jessica Jones, I'm not.

The natural next step (to me) was police detective. So why didn't I do it? Because being a security guard made me hate people. And as a cop, it would be worse, and I would have a loaded weapon. I'll explain.

People don't like being told not to do something. Anything. Even when they know it's wrong. From littering to yelling at strangers on the street to getting in a fight with someone. Just being told to leave when you've had too much to drink and you need to go home and sleep it off. And they get aggressive. And loud. And in your face. And petty. All over stupid shit. Because people think their desires are more important than everyone else's rights. And Americans in specific seem to have a love/hate relationship with authority figures. They want them there to take care of other people, but not interfere with themselves. And those authority figures? Are human. They don't want you interfering with their business either, they certainly don't want you mouthing back at them, calling them pigs just for giggles (or rent-a-cops if you're security), and they are really fucking tired of telling you not to park there. And this is just some of the boring, mundane, every-day-it-wears-you-down-just-a-little-bit-more bullshit - on both sides. This doesn't include the break-in attempts, the domestic violence, attempted rape, murders, freeway shootings, dog-fighting rings, drug deals, race riots, environmental disasters, suicide attempts, car accidents and every other thing that's worse that cops get called to deal with on a daily basis. Most of which are pretty much a result of people just not following the fucking rules.

As a security guard, it was my job to keep an eye out for things and make sure the people around weren't doing something wrong. I was supposed to put a stop to it - shoplifters, litterbugs, trespassers, etc. Did you catch that? For 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I was trained and paid to watch for people doing something wrong. And what did I see? People were ALWAYS doing something wrong. It was pure, concentrated wrongness. Because you're not focusing on the people doing the right thing, you don't care about them. You're only looking for the people who are doing something they shouldn't, and only focusing on and dealing with THEM. And THOSE people are dead-set on giving you a hard time when you call them out. And the good people coming to you for help? Always have the same problems. You start to suffer from a combination of compassion fatigue and a constant anger towards *THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN*. Even if it's the first time this particular perpetrator has done this, you've seen it a million times before and your response is formed in accordance with that. You're human. You have no reset button. During my time I was also insulted, harassed, sexually harassed, ignored and had people put hands on me. And after 2 years of this, I cracked and took a job as a hostess in a Mexican restaurant instead (which is a whole other brand of dealing with horrible humans, but that's another blog). Because I really didn't like the person I was becoming.

The Phoenix metropolitan area is home to over 4.5 million people and it's hot for a large chunk of the year - it's June 9th and 102 degrees at 5:30 pm. People get extra cranky when they're overheated, and that means police AND civilians. Nancy Molitor, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry and behavioral science at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, can tell you it's because trouble sleeping, dehydration and restrictions on our daily actives — such as being cooped up inside all day to avoid the sweltering heat — may all contribute to a worsening mood in warm weather,and a lack of control over the situation may further irritate some people. But wait, there's more: Analyzing 60 quantitative studies across fields as disparate as archaeology, criminology, economics, geography, history, political science and psychology, University of California researchers found that throughout history and across the world, higher temperatures, less rainfall and more drought were consistently linked to increased violence. According to some new research done by Polish medical students, it looks like rising temperatures release more of the stress hormone cortisol into our bloodstreams.

It should come as no surprise to see news articles calling Phoenix police officers the most violent in the country. We should expect it. Of course, the cops blame the civilians. But it's not that simple. Here in Phoenix we have a perfect storm of increasing heat, natural job friction, low wages, low education, over-crowding and a rising cost of living. Being on the border of Mexico and a major entry point for immigrants, we're ripe for plenty of racist conflicts as well. A quick Google search will find plenty of articles accusing local government of corruption, and court cases to back it up. Most of the country is now familiar with former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, for example. In a nutshell: we are fighting a losing battle for peace on multiple fronts, and our natures and the environment itself is against us. If things are going to improve, whatever solution we try to implement is going to have to take into consideration the unique conditions of Phoenix itself.

And while some of the solution definitely needs to come from the local government and police, part of it needs to come from us here in the civilian population, too. I'm not just talking about learning not to be assholes and teaching our kids to build a better community (also another blog), but by getting a better quality of people into law enforcement itself. The FBI warned of white supremacists infiltrating law enforcement 13 years ago. The Intercept has put forth a good article on how intertwined police and racism within its own departments have been a problem for quite some time now. More than 1000 cops in Arizona alone have been decertified since 1975 for misconduct. I was not cut out to be a cop, and I knew it - but lots of other people have no problem stepping into that. Phoenix PD has about 3,800 employees while Maricopa County Sheriff's Office has 3,300, to serve and protect over 4.5 million people. If you want a better class of police officer, we gotta start putting them in there. You can say "Fuck the Police" and yeah, I hear you loud and clear, but until we start taking back the system, it's not going to improve. We're just letting the bad guys into positions of authority and letting them take over in a job that is designed to be abused and abusive without special care. Build a better community, and put that community in charge. “A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.” - Henrik Ibsen

If you're one of the good cops, don't tolerate the bad ones - silence is complicity. Support each other and work at encouraging other, better coworkers to step into position. And if you KNOW one of those good cops, give them the love and support they need to get through each day, because they're not just taking on the world, they're going to have to take on each other to improve this mess.